Entry 02 - January 13th, 2014
Falling Up...or the Lessening Weight of My Reflection
I tend to learn a lot about myself in the quiet times...the
times when I'm alone with my thoughts. These are usually the times when it
would probably be much better for me not to be by myself...but that's a
different sort of story. Self-reflection
is something that I think is a neglected or abused process and one that most
people tend to shy away from. We don't want to look too deeply at ourselves
because what we find is unsettling, and it might spark memories or emotions
that we aren't ready to face or work on. I tend to think this is why "Reality"
TV shows are so popular, why people are obsessed with so called
"celebrities" and make outlets like TMZ and E! popular web and TV
destinations. We love to watch the famous people and live vicariously through
them on their ride at the top. We shower them with affection and
compliments...one might even say worship....because we hope we can someday be
in the same place or maybe they might bring us along for the rest of the trip.
At some point the trip takes a detour....or hits a brick wall. That's when the
real "fun" begins; because as much as we love our famous names when
they're on top, we seem to enjoy it even more on their way down crashing and
burning in some scandal. We revel in that misery...kick that pedestal out from
beneath them with a viciousness not found anywhere else but among those here in
the "civilized world.
Why? well because if everyone is focused on what Joe Famous
is up to then no one is paying too much attention to my shortcomings are, and
in fact it maybe even gives me a rationalization to the actions I've been
taking. "At least I don't go out until 3 am and end up totally drunk and
naked on the paparazzi channel like Joe Famous." "I didn't take those
illegal substances like Jimmy Baseball did." "When compared to that
I'm a really great guy." And so forth...and so on...ad nauseam. It's like
we strive to meet this unattainable standard we set by comparing ourselves to
all of these people in the spotlight, and we either puff ourselves up and get
prideful or we become even more dejected because we don't make the cut. Comparing
yourself to others inevitably leads to one of those two ends...and it doesn't
matter who the comparisons are being made against - famous people, coworkers,
friends, or family members - it makes no difference in the end. The comparisons
will either insulate us within a shell of arrogance or bury us beneath the weight
of depression. In either case, we are not the whole person that we could truly
be.
This brings us back to self-reflection. We need to be able to take an honest look at
ourselves and determine if we like what's developing. I can't look at anyone
else to see if I'm making good on the improvements I'm intent on. I'm the only
one that can really answer the questions at hand and evaluate my own
progress. That doesn't mean that I can't
or shouldn't share my goals with others or that there isn't encouragement to be
found in celebrating the victories you earn along the way...or that those
others may be an invaluable resource for advice and a shoulder to lean on when
you're struggling. We may not get far comparing our road to someone else's, but
we're made to share life with one another.
We are not really built for solitary existence, although
some have seemed to find a way to go through life in such a manner. Time alone
is good and necessary for everyone one sometimes, but an entire life lived
alone is missing vital interactions. We find the road is a bit less difficult
to walk and the burden of living a bit lighter when we have others to walk
beside us and share the load. So I learn a lot about myself in the quiet times,
and I find it easier to stare at my reflection when I'm not wasting time trying
to avoid those things I don't want to see. It doesn't make those things any
more desirable...but it does get a bit less cumbersome when I stop trying to
sweep it all away and instead try to figure out what the root issue is and take
a long hard look at it. What does it really mean?
Welcome to the art of self-reflection. Please keep your
hands and feet inside at all times while the ride is in motion and buckle up
buttercup.
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