Spinning in circles with golden sparklers....

I've been doing some cleaning lately(yes I know you're all shocked) condensing some boxes of stuff...throwing out junk...and in the midst of this I found some scattered pages of all sorts...even a few napkins, a placemat, and a check stub...that I had written poems on that I had never taken the time to add to one of my computer documents. I've gone through them and started typing the ones that make the most sense or seem to be more than just an unfinished fragment and thought I would share a few of them here. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

Light Years

If there was ever a reason
for self discovery
I had not discarded
I can't remember it now
There are no excuses
I haven't used
to try and bury this ideal
Suffocate & asphyxiate
this truth
yet I don't recall being happier
blind & bored
just unaware & unconcerned
The faintest glimmer changed everything
beginning this awkward secret journey
plumbing the depths
of my stained consciousness
and awakening the revelation
that I never knew
the meaning of the darkness
until I truly saw the light


Secondhand Oasis

I watched it all crumble
and wondered why I never noticed
the sand that shifts around my feet
Strange how this temporary blindness
can hide this desert from me
I could've sworn this was a mountain
and yet this blistering breeze
has carried away every leg I thought to stand on
awhisper floats past
tickling my ear
and as I tilt to listen
eyes greet light
and the pain of true vision

So my world is falling down
soon to be a fading memory
But somehow it feels good to be a failure
otherwise there would be no second chances
no time to really see



Stained Glass

So often I ask myself
where the breaking point lies
How far I must endure
this overbearing charade
of a life I gave up living
Exhausted of trying to please
these dressed to kill hypocrites
and entombed spiritual midgets

Is the search still worth it?

White noise and hard rain
taunt my aching soul
beckoning toward a numbing oblivion
and yet something
buried deep within my still beating heart
screams for relief

Jesus where are you?
I was sure you'd be here
but all my pious exploration ever uncovered
was the ghost of your memory
I'm tired
but somehow still trusting
wanting to live
and You whisper
...Peace..Be Still....


Questioning the Stars

I sometimes speak to the midnight sky
wondering what weight words hold
in the expanse between
the stars & the sea
Do I speak in vain?
Are my heavenly inquiries
merely an exercise
in an unperceived futility?
These constant questions
crowd this fragile faith
I desperately cling to
in my burdened state of mind
Yet I am alive in the mystery
of it all
vitality streaming from the hidden things
Enlightenment is,
after all,
only possible if you're wondering at the darkness
wanting something more


Little White Lies

Is it really for the best
that I think everything is fine
when nothing works right
and I understand less
about the way things should be
the more I learn
how things are
I guess it's the lie I tell myself
to keep away from responsibilities
I don't want to accept
for actions I only wish
were someone elses'
Regressing further into a logic
I pray will stave off
these barbarians at the gate
screaming insurrection
that makes a quickened pulse
course through me from this darkened heart
that knows what cruel logic won't admit
fall asleep and tell myself
It's all for the best


Fevered

Breathe
Take a chance and
inhale another moment of life
Please
I'm not ready to give in
and watch another slow procession
Breathe
Remember that there's more
than all that pulls you down
Please
I don't think this life
can be the same if you go
Breathe
You still have so much to do
so much worth experiencing
Please
I love you
just
Breathe


Lengthening Shadows

I wondered at
the substance of this life
moving forward
in a volatile environment
Am I just another blip
on the radar screen?
Or maybe a shadow
in this march of the walking dead
Is this it?
Am I content
to hide here from the light?
So I sit and ponder
until the last glimmer fades
and then doubt
that the light
was ever there at all

That's all for now...see you where the sidewalk ends....