Sept 2005

Poetry originally published September 2005:

I sometimes wonder if I might convince the world to change if I stop just long enough to stare inside this fragile breath that heaves within my chest and see that it doesn’t depend on me to keep time with the rhythm of this heart that pulses and pounds in a sound of music that emanates from the very fabric of being. But being is such a loaded position that offers more complex questions than simple solutions and doesn’t seem to mind this orientation of a slightly amusing dichotomy, and I think therefore I am all the more unwound and high strung along the tightrope of philosophical musings and spiritual undertones. To this end it may seem that all we aspire too is simply a flash of smoke and mirrors aimed at concealing the unappealing reality that nothing natural is ever enough to quell the mounting urges that whisper there has to be more than this but given time this fancy too will pass. After all I’m happier here in the dark when there’s no one to remind me of the light yet I sometimes wonder if I might convince myself to change if I would stop just long enough to really be…

Sometimes I have to ask

What I did to warrant this

Calamity that descended

Upon my life,

A drunken party crasher that never left

And stained a favorite carpet.

Do I really need another

Pop quiz on the state

Of my faith?

I want to trust that

There is nothing that I need

Nothing to concern myself over

And yet everyday reminds me that

These troubles are all I can

Seem to think about

I meant that prayer

That tumbled from my

Tired lips this morning when I

Told You that I would leave

All these things at Your feet

So how come I can’t loosen my grip?

The radio hums softly

An old song filling the air

Reminding me that

“Everybody hurts…everybody cries…sometimes…”

And a small whisper

Just inside my mind

Asks me just to be still and know…